Damm Sand Bear
by Sugarholic
Summary: Gunter is convinced that Gwendal is spending way too much time with Ryan and Keiji the sand bear. So what's an advisior to do?


Well everyone the plot bunnies have attacked me with pitch forks again and forced me to write another fic/drabble. I dont know why the plot bunnies are giving me these ideas dont blame me blame the bunnies. Anyway since Greta's Question got such a nice response from reviewers (you guys rock!) I decided to push out another one. I sersiouly have no excuse for this except being bored and letting the plot bunnies control my mind. Hope it doesant rot your brains.

Disclamimer: I do NOT own Kyo Kara Maou. Becuase if I did Gwendal and Gunter would be doing the naked pretzal in all of their sceans together.

Please Read on...

* * *

One fine morning Gunter woke up in Gwendal's massive bed. The advisor had experience another round of incredible sex last night with the eldest prince, hence the smile plastered to his face. Gunter rolled over on the bed expecting to bump into another body. But to his suprise Gwendal was no where to be seen.

But that was no problem. Gunter knew that Gwendal would bury himself in his paperwork for long hours starting at the crack of dawn. So Gunter decided it was best to go and annoy Gwendal in his office. After bathing and dressing for the day Gunter looked at his usual perfectness.

But when he got to Gwendal's office he was suprised not to find the prince sitting at the table looking grumpy as usual. While on the move to find his lover Gunter heard something from outside.

Gunter looked out one of the many windows and saw Keiji the sand bear stretching his paws out. Gunter rolled his eyes knowing he had to go down and see what started this.

* * *

When Gunter finally got down to the front Gunter could clearly see Ryan giving instructions to Keiji to try rolling.

"Ryan just exactly do you think your doing?" asked Gunter as calmly as possible.

"Im training Keiji so he can put on a show at the next festival" answered Ryan.

"You can't practice hear" said the advisor.

"But it's the only place we can" pleaded Ryan. "Keiji cant fit anywhere else and I can't take him inside."

"What's going on?" boomed a familiar voice.

Gunter was instantly relived. If Ryan wouldn't listen to him than he would most defiantly listen to Gwendal.

"Gwendal would you please tell Ryan that Keiji cant be in the front of the castle" said Gunter.

"But Keiji needs to practice for his next performance" begged Ryan.

"Need I remind you about the last time Keiji put on a show?" asked Gunter remembering Yuri falling down the hole. "It took us hours to find Yuri in that mess" said Gunter.

"But Keiji has gotten better and knows not to do that anymore" pleaded Ryan.

Gwendal knew the right thing to do was to tell Ryan that he would have to take Keiji to the back of the castle and practice there.

But then it started.

Keiji began to look at Gwendal with big brown eyes. The sand bear even went teary eyed for extra effect. Poor Gwendal could do nothing to stop the absolute cuteness power emitting for the large bear.

"Well, Gunter I don't think it's going to be that much of a problem" said Gwendal.

"You cant be serious!" asked Gunter shocked.

"As long as Keiji doesn't get in anyone's way Im sure no one is going to care about a sand bear."

Gunter grumbled something but finally answered "fine." "But if our king turns up missing the whole castle will be eating roasted sand bear on a stick."

Keiji looked scared and hid behind Ryan. "Oh don't worry Keiji, Lord Gunter doesn't mean that" said Ryan trying to calm down the bear.

As Gunter went to drag Gwendal to go play make out Gwendal by passed him and went straight over to Ryan.

"So what kind of performance is Keiji practicing for again?" asked Gwendal.

The advisor couldn't believe his ears. Gwendal had by passed him to talk about a damm sand bear! Gunter stomped back to his chambers cursing all sand bears.

* * *

Over the next few days Gunter noticed Gwendal spending way too much time with Ryan and the evil sand bear. The night before Gwendal had come back to his bed an hour later than usual. Not because of extra paperwork. But because Gwendal had helped to feed Keiji.

Gwendal noticed the cross look on Gunter's face and asked "What's wrong with you?"

Gunter rolled his eyes and mummered "insensitive jerk."

Gwendal looked suprised but decided to let it go. Everyone was entitled to a bad day.

The next day though was a different story. Everyone in Gunter's vision was treated to a death glare.

Later that day Dacascos was unfortunate enough to be caught in the line of fire. "Where is Gwendal?" asked Gunter angrily.

"Um he's..well..."

"Don't stutter you idiot it's annoying!" sneered Gunter "That's probably why no one likes you, now speak up!"

"He's with Ryan and Keiji outside sir" squeaked out the bald guard.

The lavender haired man turned to go outside and stalk..I mean watch.

* * *

Gwendal was pleasantly talking with Ryan about something.

_"Most likely about that damm sand bear"_ thought Gunter. But then a horrible thought struck him.

What if that was just a cover up. What if Gwendal was cheating on him with that poor excuse for a guard? Or even more sick with Keiji! Horrible images of Keiji squeezing into a wedding dress and stomping down the isle hand and paw with Gwendal flashed through Gunter's mind.

Right when he was thinking of sand bear recipes Gunter felt a tap on his shoulder. He looked up and saw his daughter looking at him sternly.

"Gunter how could you?" she asked.

"What did I do?" asked Gunter.

"I ran into Dacascos just now and he looked like he would burst into tears and all he would say was no one likes me." "And when I asked him who would say such a thing he said Lord Gunter!"

"But I have a crisis right now!" explained Gunter.

"What could be so bad that you made an innocent man nearly cry?" asked Giesela.

"Gwendal is sleeping with Keiji"said Gunter simply and stomped back to his room.

The head doctor blinked slowly as horrid images of the eldest prince doing the naked pretzel with Keiji filled her mind. She then ran to the nearest wash room to wash her eyes out and would then proceed to Anissina to ask for acid to burn her eyes out with.

* * *

Dinner was quiet an event that night. Gunter death glared everyone in the vicinity and looked ready to kill. Every one was walking on egg shells when near the advisor. Mainly because Gunter looked sweet but most people had seen him in combat and it wasent pretty.

Gunter was about to turn in for the night still angry when Gwendal bluntly asked "Gunter what the hell is wrong with you?" "All week you have been acting angry." "Did you drink anything in Anissina's lab?"

Gunter scowled "No Gwendal I dident." "Im just a bit angry that my supposed lover is so obsessed with a guard and a damm sand bear." "All this week it's nothing but you should see Keiji, Keiji is amazing, Keiji's rolling distance has gotten better." "I am so sick of hearing about Keiji!" snapped Gunter.

Gwendal looked at the shorter man and broke out in a grin. And finally Gwendal began to laugh very loudly.

"And just what is so funny?" snapped Gunter looking like he was well on his way to a heart attack.

"I can't believe this. Your jealous of Keiji!"

"I am most certainly not jealous of a damm sand bear!" screamed Gunter.

This only made Gwendal laugh harder. Gunter huffed and covered his head with the sheets and decided this was the best revenge he could think of at the moment.

After his laughs settled down Gwendal pulled the covers from Gunter's body andasked "Are you still mad at me?"

Gunter wouldn't answer. Gwendal smirked and whispered "I actually think it's sweet."

_"Do not forgive!"_ thought Gunter _"Let him suffer with his sand bear!"_

Gwendal pulled Gunter a bit closer and said "But Keiji isant the most important thing in the world."

"What about Ryan?" pouted Gunter.

Gwendal began kissing down Gunter neck and whispered "Ryan who?"

Gunter struggled not to say your forgiven but knew it was no use. "Allright" said Gunter looking defeated.

Gwendal grinned wickedly and began to ravish Gunter on the bed, floor, against the wall, and the table. Make up sex is a lot of fun.

* * *

The next morning at breakfast everyone was relived to see Gunter was in a much better mood.

"Gunter did you get attacked last night?" asked Greta sweetly.

"No" answered Gunter.

"Then why do you have bite marks all over your neck?" "And I think you may have a rash because you have a lot of red marks on your neck too" replied Greta looking concerned.

Yuri buried his face in his hands and began to laugh. Wolfram turned away but couldn't hide the laughing that escaped.

Conard grinned so wide it threatened to break his face. Anissina whistled suggestively. Giesela looked ready to run out of the room screaming.

Gwendal looked extremely stressed while Gunter prayed for the dark abyss to swallow him whole.

Conard decided to explain to his niece that Gunter wasent sick. In fact all those bite marks and rashes are proof that Gunter was feeling much much better.

* * *

Well hear is another sad attempt at humor. Hope you like it. Please leave a review it doesant have to be long. Just something to let me know what you think. Oh and I know this has absolutly nothing to do with Kyo Kara Maou but I feel like I should brag about this even though it happend over 3 weeks ago. I beath Sepiroth in KH2! I am offically the coolest person ever! (not!) I know you probeally dont care but I never got to tell anyone so I thought why not brag about it to random people. Please review. See ya peeps! 


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